What's that smell?

Leftovers: Blogservations that have that warmed over feel, because it’s Sunday, I had a heavy dinner of risotto, and I’m tired.

I didn’t watch the Grammys; I watched the Grammies instead, that’s an award show for great achievements in grandmothering. I wouldn’t watch the Grammys unless someone paid me. I’m just not interested. Any real mainstream talent is eclipsed by music that makes my ears retreat into my head.

Bird flu is back. I can’t think of a worse way to die. I’ll have the sweet and sour chick—pork. Sweet and sour pork, thank you.

A plethora of people Anna Nicole knew, worked for, and/or knew in a biblical sense have made statements lamenting her untimely death. Spaced out space cadet Lisa Nowak should send the deceased a thank you card:

Dear Anna Nicole,

Thanks for having an even stranger sex life and having more screws loose than me. Sorry that you’re dead. Bummer.

Love,
Lisa.

As I predict collectors and perverts are selling and buying Anna Nicole mags on eBay like hotcakes. Expensive hotcakes. Some of the eBay community is outraged. Even more outrageous (and I can’t believe my foretelling skills failed me), there are now four hats in the ring –or should I say sperm in the bank –claiming to be Anna’s baby’s daddy. The latest, her second husband, J. Howard Marshall II joins photographer Larry Birkhead, last fling lawyer Howard K. Stern (who is sleazier than smut show host Howard Stern), and 90 year-old mega-celebrity Zsa Zsa Gabor’s hubby, Prince Frederic Von Anhalt. Too bad Prince the artist isn’t in the running; he’d have my vote. And are we really to believe that Anna Nicole Smith needed artificial insemination to get pregnant? Sorry J. Howard Marshall II, you’ve been dead over 10 years, you’re not the guy.

Do you ever notice in fast food commercials there are bright, colorful vegetables glistening behind the burger or dog and fries even if there are no veggies topping the patty or link? Is it just for color, or do they think they’re subliminally fooling us into thinking we’re eating healthy?

Why is John Mellencamp popular again? Didn’t we leave him back in the ‘90s somewhere after that Van Morrison cover? Don’t give this man any more happy hour money!

There is plenty of Latino comic strips, but why not publish some in Spanish? That way Paco gets a chuckle and people like me can brush up and pick up some chicas bonitas.