Peanut butter scare leaves Lost Boys and Girls without Lunch

Millions dined on spinach and scallions tonight. But just when you thought it was safe to grocery shop with utter abandon, paying no mind to what you put in the cart, disaster strikes an unlikely aisle. As if kids didn’t have enough to cry about –the boogeyman, dirty diapers, sand in their eyes, just to name a few –now we’re confiscating their PB&J sandwiches. Among my favorite adages, “what you don’t know can hurt you” suits a world where scandal is always part of the vernacular.

Ever wonder where creamy peanut butter gets its smooth texture? Liquid fat; margarine, it’s lesser known as partially hydrogenated oil. There’s that word again, hydrogenated. Why? Filler. Oil is cheaper than peanuts and since it’s been stabilized into a solid the oil doesn’t separate as it does in natural peanut butters, which use pricier peanut oil. See my “The Skinny on Trans Fats” post for more. Click here. Besides being allowed to inject margarine up to 1/4 of its volume, commercial peanut butters sometimes contain grit, such as rodent hair and insects.

Recently Peter Pan peanut butter added an additional secret ingredient to their recipe: salmonella bacteria. Though no one is sure how it got there, researchers traced 288 illnesses in 39 states to lids stamped with 2111, packaged in Neverland, or ConAgra foods’ Georgia plant. Dirty jars, equipment, or employees may be to blame, just don’t look at the peanuts; they’re noble nuts, victims of circumstance, and not guilty.

But has peanut butter lost its innocence? No more ants on a log, PB&Js, PB paired with honey, dunked bananas, PB cookies and chews, or peanut butter moose? Say it ain’t so. It may be time for Peter Pan to hang up his hat, as ConAgra might re-brand. Natural peanut butter companies could seize the opportunity to push product. I like to grind my own, but MaraNatha makes a nice spread, so if prices drop to capitalize on Peter’s fall from grace, consumers might spend their refunds on a better butter. And natural PB will make its home in more pantries and refrigerator doors. Which it likes, because it’s right next to the jelly.

This incident sends yet another message to Americans and the FDA. Don’t let foodstuff giants poison us and offer a refund to make it all better. Or is it butter? No, margarine and salmonella.