Get me off this crazy thing!

This is the final boarding call for Inconvenience Airlines flight 13 to Hell

Snakes on a Plane, eh? I’ve got something scarier: Stranded with Smelly Strangers on a Plane for 10 Godforsaken Hours! Catchy name. I hope some folks on the December 29 flight from San Francisco to Dallas/Forth Worth remembered sleeping pills, snacks and packed an extra bladder. 10 hours on the tarmac with no food, drinks or sanitary restrooms and no one mutinied or popped open an escape hatch? America really has lost its way. Sheesh. But some postponed yet patriotic travelers from this American Airlines flight drafted a “passenger bill of rights.” My favorite notices on the bill are:

“Air carriers to refund 150 percent of a ticket’s price to bumped passengers or those delayed for more than 12 hours” and “Airlines to pay passengers for the market value of lost bags and contents rather than a depreciated rate.”
-Maxon, Terry. “Stuck Passengers Strike Back.” The Dallas Morning News. 24 January 2007.

I knew I wasn’t the only one who transported priceless paintings in my checked baggage. Let’s take it a step further, shall we? What about the person picking the “phantom” person up at the gate? Shouldn’t they be compensated as well? Most people don’t live or work near major airports and have to travel 45 minutes to an hour each way. Doesn’t that count for something?

Consumers should put their money where their mouth is. It’s time to stop giving airlines second and third changes to clean up their act. Isn’t it enough we have to strip to get through security, pay eight bucks for a crappy meal and don’t even get peanuts or pretzels and half a soda on the plane?

Fire up the engines, Amtrak, next time I travel it’ll be by rail.