A diversion election

Once again there are too many democratic flavors on the ballot. Now, I only passed basic math in college, but I can count to eight. Yes, eight Dems vying for the number one spot, “AH HA HA HA.” Cue my thunder and lightening ala Sesame Street’s Count. My cape’s at the cleaner’s, but you get the idea.

How am I going to keep these prospective candidates straight?, you ask. Simple. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’s posse boasts an overwhelming nine members. So I suggest writing a song, “you know John Kerry and Barack Obama and Clinton, Kucinich, Edwards, Chris Dodd and Joe Bidden, but do you recall the most major minority of all? Richardson the New Mexican Governor had a very slim chance, but with all the other contenders, he might have a shot after all.”

True, Bill Richardson’s run might be cut short, leaving him out of breath and money, but illegals may be spurred to get dual citizenship in order to vote. Seem like a lot of work? Who’s planting America’s gardens and cleaning our bathrooms?

Suave Senator Barack Obama could charm his way to a nod and he has Hillary scrambling.

Then there are the white guys. Johns Kerry and Edwards are lined up at the starting line and Dennis Kucinich ready for round two, too. Joseph Bidden Jr. and Christopher Dodd are new Northeast faces to the Party race. But seriously, Joe, most people on the east coast never step foot in Delaware, unless it’s to stock up on tax free goods and “Dela-who?!” say west coasters. And Chris, dude, the Patriots aren’t even in the Super Bowl this year. Two words buddy: good luck.

And me? Maybe I’ll run in 2012. Depends on how much loot I make on eBay between now and then. But just because I’m not running doesn’t mean I’m not collecting campaign contributions; I’ll find a safe place for those.

Blogservation of the day: Is it just me or are commercials deafening? Hitting the mute or volume down button is taxing on the thumb. Can’t anything else be done?