02 February 2007

State of the Yawnin'

I’m not going to get into the politics of the President’s address, just provide some blogservations.

There were plenty of funny faces. Ever-so-sly Dick Cheney looked both ways before popping a pill, but through a well-executed pump fake our crafty camera operator caught big D in the act. My first guess—cyanide—didn’t pan out, as Cheney was still breathing 30 seconds later. Whatever it was, it perked the old Vice Prez up. For the remainder of the broadcast he made goofy faces at an imaginary quarry to his left. Perhaps Cheney’s heart meds produce hallucinations. That explains the hunting accident. Former first lady Hillary—looking straight out of the ‘20s with her conservative new ‘do—sucked on lemons or sour warheads all night. That explains the sourpuss.

You know those kids who always used to fall asleep in class and it was so obvious? Well, they grew up and attended the State of the Union tonight. I’d say there were half dozen dozers on hand tonight and the camera man did a good job exposing them.
You don’t have to clap after everything W says. I didn’t.

When presenting Dikembe Mutumbo Bush introduced him as a child of the Congo (not sure if these were his exact words), now I’m not PC, but it sounded like he was introducing the son of King Kong. Don’t his speech writers read these things aloud before emailing it to George?

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