Straighten up, pay up, and fly right!

This is what I’m talking about! Or at least it’s a start. Remember the plane-full of holiday travelers held hostage by inadequate American Airlines policies? The drafters of the “passenger bill of rights” should feel somewhat vindicated. Had these courageous customers not stood up and spoke up for themselves and their fellow flyers, American could have been content to buy everyone a beer and a burger (if they’re lucky) to bury the hatchet. Kudos to these patriots for instilling fear of flying back into AA executives.

Trapped travelers can expect to spend no more than four hours on a stranded plane (a breeze compared to 10 hours plus endured on Dec. 29) and American hopes this new rule will be like that gun under my pillow — there just in case. Just a reminder, if you’re flying, especially during wild weather, stash some sleeping pills on your person or in your carry on; they haven’t been nixed yet. You’ll want to bring along some snacks, may I suggest a tuna sandwich — it should be nice and ripe by the time you’re ready to chow down — because, much to my dismay, no mention of meals or clean hoppers made headlines today. If an aircraft is grounded at an airport and not the desert, you’d think someone could make a run for tacos. And as long as the husband, who’s slipping out the emergency exit to get pickles and ice cream for his screaming wife, gets enough for everyone I’m happy.

The “passenger bill of rights” called for a 150% airfare refund and better lost/damaged baggage reimbursements. Here’s hoping the vigilante voyagers don’t forget about those when they see their vouchers.

Would you take $500 for three hours of inconvenience? I would, but afterward I’d take my money elsewhere. Adding another company to my boycott list wouldn’t bother me one iota. It makes for great conversations, chiefly when I meet CEOs.