Straighten up, pay up, and fly right!

This is what I’m talking about! Or at least it’s a start. Remember the plane-full of holiday travelers held hostage by inadequate American Airlines policies? The drafters of the “passenger bill of rights” should feel somewhat vindicated. Had these courageous customers not stood up and spoke up for themselves and their fellow flyers, American could have been content to buy everyone a beer and a burger (if they’re lucky) to bury the hatchet. Kudos to these patriots for instilling fear of flying back into AA executives.

Trapped travelers can expect to spend no more than four hours on a stranded plane (a breeze compared to 10 hours plus endured on Dec. 29) and American hopes this new rule will be like that gun under my pillow — there just in case. Just a reminder, if you’re flying, especially during wild weather, stash some sleeping pills on your person or in your carry on; they haven’t been nixed yet. You’ll want to bring along some snacks, may I suggest a tuna sandwich — it should be nice and ripe by the time you’re ready to chow down — because, much to my dismay, no mention of meals or clean hoppers made headlines today. If an aircraft is grounded at an airport and not the desert, you’d think someone could make a run for tacos. And as long as the husband, who’s slipping out the emergency exit to get pickles and ice cream for his screaming wife, gets enough for everyone I’m happy.

The “passenger bill of rights” called for a 150% airfare refund and better lost/damaged baggage reimbursements. Here’s hoping the vigilante voyagers don’t forget about those when they see their vouchers.

Would you take $500 for three hours of inconvenience? I would, but afterward I’d take my money elsewhere. Adding another company to my boycott list wouldn’t bother me one iota. It makes for great conversations, chiefly when I meet CEOs.

Get me off this crazy thing!

This is the final boarding call for Inconvenience Airlines flight 13 to Hell

Snakes on a Plane, eh? I’ve got something scarier: Stranded with Smelly Strangers on a Plane for 10 Godforsaken Hours! Catchy name. I hope some folks on the December 29 flight from San Francisco to Dallas/Forth Worth remembered sleeping pills, snacks and packed an extra bladder. 10 hours on the tarmac with no food, drinks or sanitary restrooms and no one mutinied or popped open an escape hatch? America really has lost its way. Sheesh. But some postponed yet patriotic travelers from this American Airlines flight drafted a “passenger bill of rights.” My favorite notices on the bill are:

“Air carriers to refund 150 percent of a ticket’s price to bumped passengers or those delayed for more than 12 hours” and “Airlines to pay passengers for the market value of lost bags and contents rather than a depreciated rate.”
-Maxon, Terry. “Stuck Passengers Strike Back.” The Dallas Morning News. 24 January 2007.

I knew I wasn’t the only one who transported priceless paintings in my checked baggage. Let’s take it a step further, shall we? What about the person picking the “phantom” person up at the gate? Shouldn’t they be compensated as well? Most people don’t live or work near major airports and have to travel 45 minutes to an hour each way. Doesn’t that count for something?

Consumers should put their money where their mouth is. It’s time to stop giving airlines second and third changes to clean up their act. Isn’t it enough we have to strip to get through security, pay eight bucks for a crappy meal and don’t even get peanuts or pretzels and half a soda on the plane?

Fire up the engines, Amtrak, next time I travel it’ll be by rail.