So back into it, some ideas

Turn signals! You know that little arm protruding from the left side of your steering wheel? Well, in addition to controlling the lights, high-beams, and sometimes the windshield wipers (depending on the make of your vehicle) it also functions as a turn signal indicator so other drivers can have an inkling of whether you’re turning or changing lanes. Simply flick the arm up to signal a right turn or lane change or push the arm down to register your intentions to proceed left. More online driving lessons to come; you’ll have your myblogservations driver’s license in no time! Hope you don’t mind my mug shot on it.

Great band, bad crowd. An amiga of mine, we’ll call her Amanda, because, well, that’s her real name invited me to see Spoon prove that despite their goofy name they are serious about rocking. And they played such an intimate set you forgot you were at the very cold and distant venue, the House of Blues. Some fans, on the other hand, would have been more at home at a Napalm Death concert. Amanda slinked through the crowd to get a better view, because though she’s not short, she didn’t start on her high school basketball team either. A rather tall, lanky, goofy dude became quite perturbed at her humble relocation and told her “I’ll slap the perm outta your head” and “how dare you bring a black guy to this concert?” Apparently our pal missed the all black security staff on the way in. A leggy, attractive blonde identified herself as his sister and giggled “that’s my brother; he’s crazy” when Amanda appealed to her with wide, rolling eyes. Meanwhile I was fighting my way back to my seat in the balcony amid the dirty “drop dead” looks of half a row that wouldn’t budge as I fumbled by. Normally, I avoid stepping on toes, but this night I had no choice. On my way to the bathroom nearing the end of the show a petite yet leggy and pretty blonde smashed shoulders with me like a linebacker and just kept on walking and talking to her pretty friend. Whether she was any relation to the crazy racist and sis downstairs I’ll never know. Fortunately the extended performance was worth the abuse.

Maybe I’ve belabored this point, but I’ll drum the protest up again, hydrogenated oils should have no place in any pantry. For the ignorant, it’s not an issue of choice: a triple bacon burger over a salad is a choice, hydrogenated oils are cheap fillers that manufacturers with no concern for their customer’s health inject into processed food, yet they make the choice for you and it’s a low quality selection. Even worse some products marketed as healthy contain trans fats and/or high fructose corn syrup such as high fiber cereals, Nutri-Grain bars, and whole wheat breads. It makes me cringe to see products featuring the deadly duo: hydrogenated oil and high fructose corn syrup; why should we have to live in fear of our food? Why should we have to read labels? Why should we be fed inferior food? Want to do something about it? Visit http://www.bantransfats.com/.

Books falling from my shelf

My latest must reads:

“I’m Just Here for MORE Food”- Alton Brown
Most celebrity chefs I can take or leave. Emeril? Too gimmicky; needs glasses, but he does everything from scratch. Rachel Ray? She’s ok, but her endorsements and talk show water down her cooking, however, the girl’s got skills and can make almost any dish look nice. But Alton? He’s logical, methodical, entertaining and tells you why, not just when and where. As soon as I saw this one in the store and realized it was about baking I was sold. The secrets to quality baked goods live here, and it’s a page turner with tested recipes and illustrations. Even if you don’t bake, it’s fascinating to science buffs and anyone who’s interested in what’s in their bread, muffin (or as Brown reveals cupcake masquerading as a muffin) and fruitcake. Yes, fruitcake; homemade fruitcake.

“Strangers on a Train”- Patricia Highsmith
The Fort Worth daughter makes every word count. Every sentence casts a spell. Sure, you’ve seen the Hitchcock flick, but I dare you to put this book down after the first chapter. Unlike Farley Granger’s portrayal, Highsmith’s Guy has a spark of evil in him and Bruno is a better charmer than in the movie. Read it before Hollywood ruins it in 2008.

“REALLY Useful Job Search Tactics”- Rick Gillis
Call him a guru, or crazy, but this guy’s got some revolutionary ideas when it comes to resumes and interviews. Gillis helped pioneer internet job searching with his HoustonEmployment.com in 1995 and he’s gonna give monster and careerbuilder a run for their money with his latest venture http://www.hirebuddy.com/. “REALLY Useful” is just what it advertises, and it’s about guerilla marketing and finding work in the job jungle. You can buy it from amazon.com and check out what Rick and his book are all about at http://www.rickgillis.com/.

What about you; what are you reading?

Pet chow's gone to the dogs, but why?

Ok, I may have waited too long to dogpile on this one, but as the reports pile up, like all recalls, there are bound to be consumers crying wolf. Did someone say “sue?” The difference here is death. Animals died and America dropped their porkchops, appalled. With the exception of “Cujo”, U.S. moviegoers are more moved by man’s best friend’s silver screen demise than man’s. Why? Because we don’t know that guy or she’s a bad girl, but when a canine’s assassinated we’re all heart: “aww, that looks like Toby.” So I forecasted outrage immediately and indefinitely.

No surprises
Pet food ingredients are no secret: surplus corn, rice, wheat, and (ahem) Barbaro and friends (horses), or let’s just say "leftover protein" wind up in your cat’s food dish. And why not? It cuts food waste. But I wasn’t surprised when premium pet chow was revealed no better than Alpo. What did consumers expect to be in there, organic Angus beef and truffle oil? Sometimes you don’t get what you pay for. Recalls and the assumption that less expensive generic packaged foods originate from the same factory shake our name brand faith. Now apply that logic to Kibbles 'n Bits versus Pellets 'n Pits. Manufacturers design feed to be nutritionally complete as efficiently as possible, then they pile on the filler. But cheap food doesn’t do this kind of damage. I don’t know if whipping up chicken and rice for fluffy is necessary, but it’d be both safer and cheaper.

This is taking longer than the Anna Nicole's paternity test!
The only loose threads baffling us should be what happened to kill these unlucky creatures? Sudden kidney failure commonly results from an allergic reaction or poisoning, but labs are still at a loss to isolate a cause.

The Chocolate Challenge or I have way too much time on my hands

It’s been done to death, I know. But I couldn’t resist rating (I said rating) my quartet of Valentine’s Day dates.

The prices vary from almost affordable to “do you do layaway?” But the chocolates sampled are rich and strong, you won’t be buying them every day, and hey, you only live once. Despite the four different shapes each bar weighs three and a half ounces, so nerds with calculators can compare price per ounce easily. Even though my financial advisor warned against purchasing $12.50 worth of chocolates, in the name of science and my stomach I’ll play by my rules and thereby break all rules.

My rules:

No peeking at ingredients until after making blogsevations; only two bite size pieces aloud for judging; no wine or cheese, only orange segments as palate cleansers; and only one judge—me.

Product specifications and test notes:

Hachez- Cocoa D’Arriba, 77% cacao, $3.50, one dollar per ounce

Defines the oxymoron bittersweet. Well balanced flavors; liquor taste resonates. If only it were affordable to bake with. This is my third selection.

A. Korkunov- Dark Chocolate, 72% cocoa, $4, one dollar and fourteen cents per ounce

Sleek, expensive looking packaging matches its smooth and rich texture and tang. Tastes like a good cup of hot cocoa should and at four bucks a bar is cheaper than two cups of fine hot chocolate in a café or diner. Absolutely my favorite.

Ghirardelli- Espresso Escape, 60% cacao, $2.50, seventy-one cents per ounce

Gasp! Purists say coffee taints chocolate. Nonsense, chocolate was born to be combined; I couldn’t resist the bonus caffeine (what’s keeping me awake now) and enhanced flavor (like sour cream to cakes). Silky and milky, though bitter cocoa and coffee balance the bar. Finishes with a rich fruit taste. Imagine a cup of Columbian coffee, medium strength, with plenty of cream and sugar. Very pleasant, second prize.

Lindt- Excellence, 85% cocoa, $2.50, seventy-one cents per ounce

Bitter to the core with only slight sugar reprieves, and it’s a bit chalky. I taste rum as well, but maybe that’s just fermentation. Only for cacao enthusiasts or people who take their coffee strong –and black. This bar almost offended me; after judging I gulped down some more Ghirardelli to mask the Lindt’s bitter aftertaste. I’ll eat it, but it still ranks last—fourth place.

Further analysis:

I flipped the packages over to discover ingredients and nutritional information. All bars featured significant kilocalories, fat, sat fat, and surprise!: fiber. The candies shared some protein and little or no sodium. Iron ranged from 4% daily value via the Hachez Cocoa D’Arriba to a whopping 45% in the A. Korkunov. Bless those Russians.

Bourbon vanilla is responsible for the liquor I tasted in the Cocoa D’Arriba. Marginal sugar content at 9g, but that’s in half a bar. Not bad by chocolate standards, but the fat trumps the rest at a whopping 44 grams total. Ouch.

Simple. All natural. Six ingredients. The A. Korkunov bar boasts five awards won on the back; now I know why. I don’t endorse much, but go buy this if you have taste buds and even if you only have $4 to your name. Now!

Runner up and tied for bargain of the lot, Ghirardelli’s Espresso Escape rounds out its coffee and sugar with milk fat and more milk fat, yet has the lowest overall fat and sat fat content. Improbable! It’s also the only indulgence explicitly including milk (a no-no in the world of cacao snobbery), the rest only warn of trace amounts. Worth every penny and every pound.

With a scant 12.5 grams sugar in the entire bar, the Lindt Excellence makes up for it with not only chocolate, but cocoa powder. Blame the chalky texture on the powder. Save the dry stuff for cakes, sauces, and brownies, please. Ranks second in fat, but first in protein (4g). Beware—this ain’t no Hershey bar, don’t try to make s’mores with this baby, unless you like seeing children and adults cry.

7-Eleven learns some new numbers

A feast of food news this week! A drunk and stoned teenager stumbles into 7-11; an apple is not what he’s looking for. As I’ve said before, and you’re probably, no definitely tired of reading this, fresh food takes the cake. Rather, fruits and vegetables replace the cake when Americans reach for a snack. It’s only logical 7-Eleven will follow the fad and imagine the markup on a fruit cup! Our flirtation with fresh has spread to the convenience store: the final frontier. Is no snack food Mecca sacred?

Headquartered in Dallas, 7-Eleven hopes to scoop up new customers who might drop by health food stores before work. You can’t get gas at Whole Foods, so this is convenient. Traveling across the country last year, I marveled at sushi in a Seattle gas station. I didn’t buy any, but I considered it. How bad could a convenience store California roll be? Ok, it could be bad, but it could be good.

While it’ll be strange to see fresh fare in such an unlikely venue, I don’t think there’ll be wine and cheese tasting parties on aisle six anytime soon. And that’s a good thing. 7-Elevens are, however, beefing up their wine lists, so when I need a moderately priced yet highly marked up cabaret at two A.M.; I’ll know who to call. Who knows? You might see me there for lunch sometime, but I won’t forego the oatmeal pie dessert, after all, they’re still a quarter, right?

Peanut butter scare leaves Lost Boys and Girls without Lunch

Millions dined on spinach and scallions tonight. But just when you thought it was safe to grocery shop with utter abandon, paying no mind to what you put in the cart, disaster strikes an unlikely aisle. As if kids didn’t have enough to cry about –the boogeyman, dirty diapers, sand in their eyes, just to name a few –now we’re confiscating their PB&J sandwiches. Among my favorite adages, “what you don’t know can hurt you” suits a world where scandal is always part of the vernacular.

Ever wonder where creamy peanut butter gets its smooth texture? Liquid fat; margarine, it’s lesser known as partially hydrogenated oil. There’s that word again, hydrogenated. Why? Filler. Oil is cheaper than peanuts and since it’s been stabilized into a solid the oil doesn’t separate as it does in natural peanut butters, which use pricier peanut oil. See my “The Skinny on Trans Fats” post for more. Click here. Besides being allowed to inject margarine up to 1/4 of its volume, commercial peanut butters sometimes contain grit, such as rodent hair and insects.

Recently Peter Pan peanut butter added an additional secret ingredient to their recipe: salmonella bacteria. Though no one is sure how it got there, researchers traced 288 illnesses in 39 states to lids stamped with 2111, packaged in Neverland, or ConAgra foods’ Georgia plant. Dirty jars, equipment, or employees may be to blame, just don’t look at the peanuts; they’re noble nuts, victims of circumstance, and not guilty.

But has peanut butter lost its innocence? No more ants on a log, PB&Js, PB paired with honey, dunked bananas, PB cookies and chews, or peanut butter moose? Say it ain’t so. It may be time for Peter Pan to hang up his hat, as ConAgra might re-brand. Natural peanut butter companies could seize the opportunity to push product. I like to grind my own, but MaraNatha makes a nice spread, so if prices drop to capitalize on Peter’s fall from grace, consumers might spend their refunds on a better butter. And natural PB will make its home in more pantries and refrigerator doors. Which it likes, because it’s right next to the jelly.

This incident sends yet another message to Americans and the FDA. Don’t let foodstuff giants poison us and offer a refund to make it all better. Or is it butter? No, margarine and salmonella.

Public schools get poor marks for lunch

There’s a revolution of chow. It started in some big city restaurants and spread to entire cities. Now the whole fast food industry is scrambling to remove hydrogenated oil from fries and baked goods. Supermarkets carry alternatives that take the junk out of junk food. Oreos are now not only trans fat free, but vegan.

Americans are buying fresher. People are spending more time in the produce department and less time fogging up the freezer case windows. Have you noticed the jump in fruit and vegetable prices? That’ll subside. But with growing interest in ethnic foods and raw vegetables fresh may also mean fast, thus eliminating “I don’t have time to cook” from the American vernacular.

With all this change afoot, why are public schools calling in sick when it comes to shaping up their menus? French fries are not a vegetable. While pears in heavy syrup we’re once fruit, the nutritional value is canceled out by added sugar. Soda and candy machines serve lunch to millions of hungry high school pupils. No wonder their stomachs don’t stay full for long on empty calories. If eating habits have changed in the home, why are we still poisoning kids at school? Yeah, you guessed it, money.

Students spend a third of their day at school. That may mean a trip to the vending machines in the morning (kids like a caffeine kick, too), during lunch and after the school bell rings, before boarding the bus or cruising the Mustang home. I won’t even get into schools allowing Starbucks to set up camp in cafeterias.

Yum food brands (home of Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and KFC to name a few), Little Caesars and Chick-fil-A (God’s official chicken shack—schools aren’t open on the Sabbath—so it’s ok) offer investment incentives to schools willing to stoop and scoop up greasy money. Shouldn’t parents be outraged? Has the fast food business no dignity? What kind of lessons are the children learning from this?

Some may argue that parents and students make the decision to buy school lunch or bag it, but shouldn’t health conscious kids have a choice, too? Cookies and fries for lunch alienate much of the studentry. As diversity in institutions grows shouldn’t menus reflect that? Perhaps the accountants should crunch some numbers and maybe public schools will serve up some variety and still make a pretty penny from school lunch. Grocery stores and restaurants have adapted, schools should be next.

The Skinny on Trans Fats

After a long road trip returning from Alaska—where I worked for the summer—I craved pancakes. The diners I ate at just didn’t have a flair for flapjacks. And some didn't even have butter; instead they had "spread." What does that even mean? With that bitter taste in my mouth, I assembled the ingredients on the counter and took a whiff of the canola oil. I made a face and exclaimed, “Rancid!”

My canola oil wasn’t hydrogenated. That’s the bad word you’ve seen in the paper, connected to its villainous partner, trans fat. Though meat and dairy contain trace trans fats, the artificial stuff first cooked up by Crisco at the turn of last century, the hydrogen enriched shortening made its market debut in 1911. Why change the composition of fat? Simple, it lasts longer; and is cheaper because you don’t have to trash it. If my oil was lab treated, I could’ve treated myself to a stack of griddlecakes, but my heart wouldn’t have been as happy.

The media fuss is over the health benefits hydrogenated oils provide. What benefits, you say? Exactly. The successful science experiment that plays a part in so many convenience and fasts foods is detrimental to your health. So, in a country where heart disease is the number one silent assassin, trans fats don’t sit well in America’s stomach. The fugitive oils wage a two pronged war on your health; they not only raise bad cholesterol (low-density lipoprotein), they lower good cholesterol (high-density lipoprotein). Almost a hundred years later some people are just finding this out. What you don’t know can hurt you.

If you’ve seen Supersize Me you cannot forget the decomposing French fry test. An order of diner fries sat next to some McDonald’s spuds. The former frites broke down rapidly; however, the Arches’s fries looked fresh from the fryer. Various preservatives are to thank/blame for this super shelf life, among them hydrogenated oil. Scientists modify the molecular structure of the oil by adding hydrogen. The pressure from hydrogen forces a new shape and the fat is stabilized. This is why it stays in your system longer and is harder to process. Our bodies don’t recognize the new configuration, so it’s a poison. As we adapt, future generations may develop new digestive functions, but it’s been 100s of years and most people still cannot fully digest lactose, a sugar in milk. Only time will tell.

The Big Apple trans fat ban confuses some folks. People are angry they won’t unsuspectingly consume hydrogenated oil at restaurants anymore. Some say food won’t taste the same. Not true; these oils taste no different from other oils. It’s about consumer education. Sure, a few restaurateurs’s feathers are ruffled over changing and perhaps paying more, but don’t New Yorkers deserve healthier oil? The owners charge enough.

My theory, which is untested and only conjecture and blogservation, is that hydrogenating oil also expands the atomic structure. So the oil is stretched and appears thinner, thus cheaper.

As you can tell, I think informing the public of trans fats lurking in their $50 entrée is admirable, but a ban seems extreme. Of course if it were voluntary to change the oil, who would do it and who would some use “no trans fats” as a selling point? Many grocery items already advertise bad fat free on the label. For those people who are worried about not getting enough trans fats while dining out in NYC, don’t worry, you can still buy commercial peanut butter, margarine, lard, Hot Pockets, Hostess cakes and donuts, “buttery” crackers, pancake and waffle mixes, and candy bars with more than your daily dose of hydrogenated oil at your local supermarket. As for me, I make my own pancakes, and top them with natural trans fat—real butter.