Pet chow's gone to the dogs, but why?

Ok, I may have waited too long to dogpile on this one, but as the reports pile up, like all recalls, there are bound to be consumers crying wolf. Did someone say “sue?” The difference here is death. Animals died and America dropped their porkchops, appalled. With the exception of “Cujo”, U.S. moviegoers are more moved by man’s best friend’s silver screen demise than man’s. Why? Because we don’t know that guy or she’s a bad girl, but when a canine’s assassinated we’re all heart: “aww, that looks like Toby.” So I forecasted outrage immediately and indefinitely.

No surprises
Pet food ingredients are no secret: surplus corn, rice, wheat, and (ahem) Barbaro and friends (horses), or let’s just say "leftover protein" wind up in your cat’s food dish. And why not? It cuts food waste. But I wasn’t surprised when premium pet chow was revealed no better than Alpo. What did consumers expect to be in there, organic Angus beef and truffle oil? Sometimes you don’t get what you pay for. Recalls and the assumption that less expensive generic packaged foods originate from the same factory shake our name brand faith. Now apply that logic to Kibbles 'n Bits versus Pellets 'n Pits. Manufacturers design feed to be nutritionally complete as efficiently as possible, then they pile on the filler. But cheap food doesn’t do this kind of damage. I don’t know if whipping up chicken and rice for fluffy is necessary, but it’d be both safer and cheaper.

This is taking longer than the Anna Nicole's paternity test!
The only loose threads baffling us should be what happened to kill these unlucky creatures? Sudden kidney failure commonly results from an allergic reaction or poisoning, but labs are still at a loss to isolate a cause.