Push me and I push back
Some anklebiter cut me in line at the museum yesterday, so I shoved him. He ran for his 400 lb gorilla of a mother who instead of listening to hat I said pushed me. “Now I know where he gets it from,” I said, meaning his manners and gut. I walked away leaving her screeching “how dare you?!” Oh baby, I dare like this. It’s a shame kids like him will never know better than rudeness and TV dinners. I want to be a parent so I can out parent the hell out of 75% of the population. But first I need offspring. Any volunteers? I’m told I have nice eyebrows.
“Saturday Night Live” still isn’t funny. I checked tonight.
More bad marks for school cafeterias
According to the department, of 94,132 schools reporting in the 2005-2006 school
year:
Ten percent, or 9,498 schools, were not inspected at all
Twenty-nine
percent, or 27,184 schools, were inspected only once
Libby Quaid, Associated
Press
Hmmm… perhaps I should stop pretending to be a 12th grader to get cheap lunch. Maybe I can get a fast food endorsement like actress Jennifer Hudson.
No end in sight
Four years ago the U.S. invaded Iraq. It’s as surreal now as it was then. Soldiers and civilians lived years in minutes. We are all older, but are any wiser? Why are there still only unanswered questions?
Now that’s teamwork
NCAA tournament highlights are available on YouTube courtesy of CBS.
Game Over?
Nintendo sends Playstation and Xbox sprinting for the reset button. February Wii console sales more than doubled PS3 sales and nearly beat Sony and Microsoft receipts combined. Price, innovation, its all ages audience, and party games put Wiis in 335,000 homes last month. Good thing Sony and Microsoft manufacture other electronics.
Can you put a price on your best friend?
You know how your mother always told you not to give the dog people food? Well, Fido might’ve been better off on cheeseburgers. The recent pet chow recalls ask what a four legged companion is worth to owners. Many dog and cat lovers spend thousands to prolong furry friends’s lives, so my answer would be “thousands.” But these people don’t want money, they want their pets back.
More plane strain
Cathay Pacific Airways hasn’t been keeping up on current events:
"You can't keep your passengers on the plane for 9 1/2 hours," said Chandran,
30, of New York City. "They kept saying 'half an hour more, 45 minutes more.'
But by the time it got to hour six, we were pretty much accepting that we
weren't going to go … At least in the terminal, you can get up and walk around."
David B. Caruso and Jennifer Peltz, ABC News
No comments:
Post a Comment