Every night after the 10 o’clock news I stumble half asleep to my word processor’s blinking cursor. Often my mind is as empty as the page, but somehow I always have something to say. I’ve considered conducting blog interviews—would that qualify as a blog? I’ve thought about cheating, you know, copying some old poem or news story I wrote, but something compels me to keep it fresh. Or at least warmed over. Tonight I’m scraping even lower in my muckraker’s barrel, presenting third installment of blogservations.
Go for broke
What good is a monopoly restriction if all your options are the same? I’m sure Woodrow Wilson didn’t have Sirius and XM or Best Buy and Circuit City in mind when he feared monopoly, and if he were alive today I bet he couldn’t tell the difference between bad 80s music on Sirius and bad 80s music on XM. Let ‘em merge; they’re the identical anyway. Yeah, yeah, you have “exclusives.” Big deal. Give us a little variety!
There’s a fly in my soup, because it’s horsefly minestrone
Do recalls ever get recalled? Bausch and Lomb recalled yet another saline solution. This time there it’s iron. Apparently the beneficial metal isn’t supposed to go I your eye. My mom conjured up the old days when you made your own solution, that way if your chemistry experiment went wrong; you had no one to blame but yourself. Tainted goods are another reason I grow and make as much of my own food as possible.
I’ve heard of contributing to minors, but this is ridiculous!
As appalling as Demetrius McCoy’s smoke session with his two and five year-old nephews is, at least he didn’t give them cheese. Cheese is a combination of heroin and Tylenol PM that’s cheap, deadly, and has Texas in a headlock. It would have killed the kids.
I’ll name my kid Harley; it’s a good, honest name
With a name like Scooter did anyone doubt Scooter Libby was guilty of perjury?
Fire at the White House traced to pants
And don’t you think it’s about time the Bush administration admitted all their lies? America would respect the administration more. But then again, taking responsibility for mistakes hasn’t been an American value since Kennedy was assassinated.
Say what?
"I'll smack flames out your ass!” Does Diddy ever make sense when quoted? He should attend the Ann Coulter School of Slurs.
Singlehandedly eliminating an entire sector of my dating pool
Speaking of Ann Coulter, did I miss something? Was she funny before and now she’s just crude?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment