If anyone knows of a good job fair, clue me in. They’re like window shopping at a science fair. You want to take a gander in case it’s worthwhile, but you don’t want to get to close, sucked into a prepared presentation. If you can find a map, by all means plan your attack. Instead of a joyous carnival, all I ever get at these confusing events is a bunch of literature from companies I’ll never work for just because I felt bad as they thrust the leaflets desperately at me. It’s like that guy with the religious pamphlets: what would Jesus do? Not waste so much goddamn paper! Now when I’m bombarded by mission statements, crappy pens and stress balls I fire my own useless duds. Here, business suit woman with short hair, have my generic resume printed on paper so thin it doubles as tracing paper. Enjoy it. Use your imagination.
So I walk around like a dope asking if my services are needed. Nope. When you say write or writer employers assume you mean novelist. If I were a novelist, I wouldn’t be wasting my time at a career fair would I? I’d be writing my masterpiece!
Face it: the best part of these excuses for executives to escape the office is candy. Everybody like candy. It’s too bad they don’t put a symbol on the map. No, I’m not interested in a job with Boeing, but yes, I’ll listen to your spiel for a Snickers. You can keep the fanny pack, thanks. If I were an employer I’d advertise “CANDY! Apply with Allstate."
By the time I’m loosening my tie, nipping from my flask and flying paper airplane resumes to every table in range (how appropriate for Boeing) I realize I’d better get out of here before the traffic gets bad and have a good excuse not to fill out the exit survey. “I’m late for my dog’s enema”, usually shuts ‘em up.
Showing posts with label Employment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Employment. Show all posts
09 April 2007
06 April 2007
Extra! Extra! Can I bargain for extra?
I was a hit; I was a hoot. The publisher liked me. Otherwise he’d never have had the managing editor contact me to set up a follow-up interview the same day.
The job is familiar, I feel I’ve done this before; even the interview coincides with the one I had this time last year when it was either editor or cook in Alaska. The pay’s the same. I made more in four months working a sauté pan in Alaska than I would in a year as a newsman. Yet, there’s something appealing in finding something no one else knows about and transforming it into something everyone in town’s buzzing about, the same way on that island last summer I could always find a spot to be alone.
There’s a privacy about writing news. You’re an unobserved observer, a painter who seldom signs his work. It’s a quiet living, social and political storms swell and subside; it’s impossible to please everyone, but the stories are always positive. In local news your beat becomes a foster home, the pleasant people are a foster family and while you can’t call it fame, the subtle recognition is nice.
But since I have experience shouldn’t I hold out for better pay? Should I say I need more time to decide? I always jump at the first offer, even if it’s a consolation prize. I’m never the guy with three offers on the table, tasting them to see which is the sweetest. But maybe I can string the paper along just long enough to gain some leverage. I was offered an almost identical job last year; it’s time to see what I’ve learned.
The job is familiar, I feel I’ve done this before; even the interview coincides with the one I had this time last year when it was either editor or cook in Alaska. The pay’s the same. I made more in four months working a sauté pan in Alaska than I would in a year as a newsman. Yet, there’s something appealing in finding something no one else knows about and transforming it into something everyone in town’s buzzing about, the same way on that island last summer I could always find a spot to be alone.
There’s a privacy about writing news. You’re an unobserved observer, a painter who seldom signs his work. It’s a quiet living, social and political storms swell and subside; it’s impossible to please everyone, but the stories are always positive. In local news your beat becomes a foster home, the pleasant people are a foster family and while you can’t call it fame, the subtle recognition is nice.
But since I have experience shouldn’t I hold out for better pay? Should I say I need more time to decide? I always jump at the first offer, even if it’s a consolation prize. I’m never the guy with three offers on the table, tasting them to see which is the sweetest. But maybe I can string the paper along just long enough to gain some leverage. I was offered an almost identical job last year; it’s time to see what I’ve learned.
20 March 2007
craigslist crazy
What do you think of craigslist? It’s more entertaining than useful to me. When I search jobs I can count on the amusing calls for call girls and some outlandish part time gigs. A retired friend of my mother’s landed a chauffeur stint for some wealthy Dallas doctor by responding to an ad. A friend of mine met his future roommate and girlfriend through his craigslist curiosity. Another acquaintance has a plush sectional to vegetate on; thanks to some Georgetown yuppie who was just dumping rather than selling, because he had to vamoose.
I know it’s not a reputable place for serious job sleuthing; however, there are more jobs in my field (writing) than any other online employment site. So maybe it is reputable. I admit I get sidetracked by the garage sale items, but I earnestly apply to what seem like legitimate jobs (i.e. detailed and with a real email address not job3456@craigslist.org) to no avail.
But honestly, over the past 2 years the management team is getting much better at weeding out scams and shady posts. Though craiglist’s layout bores, no advertisements assail you at login, you don’t have to subscribe or feed information to anyone you don’t choose to, and often you aren’t whisked to some other site while applying to jobs. In other words it’s less stress than monster or careerbuilder.
All this makes me wonder where the revenues coming from, who owns the site, and why hasn’t some internet or media or internet media goliath snatched craigslist up?
Turns out job postings do cost in major U.S. cities, which discourages some bogus ads. In the startup’s hometown, San Francisco, craigslist want ads cost nearly triple their print predecessors, but at $75 a pop companies shell out anyway. There are 200 active San Fran posts dating from a month and a day ago to today on the writer/editor link alone. That’s $15,000, for you math wizards. And if you want your post to appear under two headings, it’ll cost ya double. More paydirt! Craig Newmark puts the Craig in craigslist and owns 75% of his internet namesake; eBay owns the rest. I knew there was a reason I spent so much time on both sites!
If you are reading this and have experienced the bewildering (or not so bewildering, depending on your take) world of craigslist please post!
I know it’s not a reputable place for serious job sleuthing; however, there are more jobs in my field (writing) than any other online employment site. So maybe it is reputable. I admit I get sidetracked by the garage sale items, but I earnestly apply to what seem like legitimate jobs (i.e. detailed and with a real email address not job3456@craigslist.org) to no avail.
But honestly, over the past 2 years the management team is getting much better at weeding out scams and shady posts. Though craiglist’s layout bores, no advertisements assail you at login, you don’t have to subscribe or feed information to anyone you don’t choose to, and often you aren’t whisked to some other site while applying to jobs. In other words it’s less stress than monster or careerbuilder.
All this makes me wonder where the revenues coming from, who owns the site, and why hasn’t some internet or media or internet media goliath snatched craigslist up?
Turns out job postings do cost in major U.S. cities, which discourages some bogus ads. In the startup’s hometown, San Francisco, craigslist want ads cost nearly triple their print predecessors, but at $75 a pop companies shell out anyway. There are 200 active San Fran posts dating from a month and a day ago to today on the writer/editor link alone. That’s $15,000, for you math wizards. And if you want your post to appear under two headings, it’ll cost ya double. More paydirt! Craig Newmark puts the Craig in craigslist and owns 75% of his internet namesake; eBay owns the rest. I knew there was a reason I spent so much time on both sites!
If you are reading this and have experienced the bewildering (or not so bewildering, depending on your take) world of craigslist please post!
16 March 2007
Yes, my blog has gotten this bad
I had to write 30 and 60 second radio ads for a job I'm applying for. I'm not in a very creative mood, so plop!
60 Second Ad
Do other peanut butters have you feeling sluggish? Then try our "Nuts Over Peanut Butter" brand peanut butter packed with 18, not just a measly eight essential vitamins including the very rare and exotic vitamin P. Parents, do you avoid slapping singles in you kids's hands for fear of an unhealthy school lunch, but wonder what to pack the pipsqueaks? Never fear "Nuts Over Peanut Butter" is all natural, excluding the added sugars linked to diabetes and hydrogenated oils associated with naughty trans fats! Our peanut butter is made from a family recipe that's not so secret: fresh roasted peanuts. "Nuts Over Peanut Butter" comes in two varieties, salted and unsalted and of course, you can also choose crunchy or creamy. So skip the Skippy, can the Peter Pan, and tiff the Jiff; for you've got "Nuts Over," the peanut butter that never leaves you fat, flat, or out of cash!
30 Second Radio Ad
Got gunk junk or other such bunk in you gutters, air vents, or attic? Call 1-800-CLE-ANUP. At 800 CLEANUP we will clean anything for cheap! We hire 100% illegal immigrants and pass the savings on to you! Refrigerator look more like an oil spill than a place to store food? Call us! Would your kid just assume eat vegetables than clean the disaster area they call a room? Call us! Have your pets run amok all over the house? Don't delay, call today! 1-800-CLE-ANUP! That's 1-800-CLE-ANUP!
Pretty bad, eh? I don't think I'm getting that job. Sorry, I'ver been tired all day.
60 Second Ad
Do other peanut butters have you feeling sluggish? Then try our "Nuts Over Peanut Butter" brand peanut butter packed with 18, not just a measly eight essential vitamins including the very rare and exotic vitamin P. Parents, do you avoid slapping singles in you kids's hands for fear of an unhealthy school lunch, but wonder what to pack the pipsqueaks? Never fear "Nuts Over Peanut Butter" is all natural, excluding the added sugars linked to diabetes and hydrogenated oils associated with naughty trans fats! Our peanut butter is made from a family recipe that's not so secret: fresh roasted peanuts. "Nuts Over Peanut Butter" comes in two varieties, salted and unsalted and of course, you can also choose crunchy or creamy. So skip the Skippy, can the Peter Pan, and tiff the Jiff; for you've got "Nuts Over," the peanut butter that never leaves you fat, flat, or out of cash!
30 Second Radio Ad
Got gunk junk or other such bunk in you gutters, air vents, or attic? Call 1-800-CLE-ANUP. At 800 CLEANUP we will clean anything for cheap! We hire 100% illegal immigrants and pass the savings on to you! Refrigerator look more like an oil spill than a place to store food? Call us! Would your kid just assume eat vegetables than clean the disaster area they call a room? Call us! Have your pets run amok all over the house? Don't delay, call today! 1-800-CLE-ANUP! That's 1-800-CLE-ANUP!
Pretty bad, eh? I don't think I'm getting that job. Sorry, I'ver been tired all day.
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