New 'Toons

What I did instead of blogging —doodling— equally unproductive. I hope these scanned legibly. Oh yeah, and copyright 2007. Steal my art and I will make you draw for me.

Double Feature: Classic comic import to grace the silver screen and Brilliant billionaires: an American endangered species?

He’s a reporter with a knack for solving crimes before twin dimwitted detectives catch a clue. Any good reporter strives to be a detective anyway; and journalist is the closest you can come today without chasing cheating spouses. But I’m talking about Tintin, Belgium’s number one sleuth, his popularity and likeability has Steven Spielberg himself salivating. DreamWorks will host the world renowned cartoon character’s film debut, but will the adaptation ring true? I’m hoping for classic 2-D animation or even live action featuring actors with appropriate accents. I don’t want to see a CGI movie sacrificing depth and character development for cheap laughs. Conversely, the comic relief distinguishes Tintin, but whatever’s popular in two years dictates the film’s feel, so what do core fans matter? That’s not who Hollywood’s aiming at. Granted TMNT looks terrible, and its graphics will eventually date it, that won’t stop devotees, like me, and restless kids on spring break alike from plunking down $8.

What to do with all the money? Forbes magazine released its billionaires list today and everyone’s wondering what these folks spend their dough on. To anyone rich or poor, doesn’t time matter more than money? I have more time than money, but that doesn’t mean I’m wasting time, I probably waste more money. It’s great more women and Indians made the cut, but how do the rich and perhaps famous spend their time? Bill Gates generously gives hours to citizens of Africa, struggling students ( as a Harvard dropout, he was once one), and overseeing the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Ingenuity and creativity founded many of the listed billionaires, while American public schools and standardized tests discourage these two talents. We have many freedoms, but when will our children be free to think again? Proud as I am that the U.S. encourages opinions, I wish school administers would listen to kids, instead of the cha-ching of cash registers. Perhaps it’d put more money in students’s pockets.

Cartoon Catastrophe

The backfired joke costs (two) millions!

You know the feeling, it was sooo funny in your head, but the audience just stares and some reach for ripe fruit. Cartoon Network’s costly gag bombed in Boston. Or at least New Englanders thought the Lite-Brites emblazoned with mooninites—profane space people from television’s Aqua Team: Hunger Force—were bombs. Roads closed, Bobby’s Boozy Bingo Tourney was canceled, it was chaos!

I know what you’re thinking. I love comics; I love controversy, why didn’t I blog earlier? I was busy.

I blame the generation gap. Baby boomers and anyone over thirty-five probably doesn’t know a subversive cartoon character from a nuclear threat, just like their parents wouldn’t recognize such obscure supporting cast as Huckleberry Hound posing as a hand grenade. The folks at Cartoon Network didn’t consider their entire audience when guerilla marketing. It’s ok guys, I still want that job; I can diffuse this disaster!

Though some may not find this funny, someday they’ll look back and laugh. Unless they’re some of those people with no sense of humor, have you ever met one of those mutants? They’re creepy; I always laugh boisterously in their face then cough and say “oh,” when wide-eyed at their death stare, I realize: “egad! no funny bone!”

Either way, the joke’s on us, America. Internationally, we yet again look silly and scared, or just plain scared stupid. And Cartoon Network pulled off the publicity stunt—didn’t they succeed anyway? Maybe this was their plan all along. Take a joke. Take it all the way to the bank. Though CN’s parent company, Turner was ordered to pay 2 million, time will tell if the deposit outweighs the withdrawal.