Yellow is the new green

Ethanol is fashionable. We believe it must be better for the earth because it comes from the earth. But it’s not. Ethanol production guzzles more energy than refining crude oil and one gallon of the latter contains four times the energy as corn-based fuel. Cleaner? Yes. More efficient? Not even close.

Attempting to amend his administration’s atrocious environmental policy, George W. Bush backed ethanol, championing its clean burning and much like Nicorette gum to cigarettes, ethanol will help us kick our crude oil habit while fetching farmers loftier prices. So it’s excellent for the economy, excellent for the environment, and better for Bush’s image. While a splash of ethanol in our gas will do the earth good, going overboard will only benefit farmers and politicians, and justify our oil gorging. More efficient vehicles, better public transportation, and carpooling (remember that word?) are tangible solutions.

A luxury good? Corn is North America’s staple grain. In the US it’s in everything from soda to cereal; in Mexico nary a meal hits the table without corn. It’s inexpensive, plentiful, and in its unadulterated form, highly nutritious. But when ethanol production picks up, prices go up, companies snatch corn up, and scarcity on shelves forces demand up. Ethanol eats lots of corn. Corn’s new occupation cooked up tortilla price hikes in Mexico last month. Expect to see fried corn on the cob for $12 on menus.

But never fear, America, spud’s on deck. Coke’s second ingredient will be high-fructose potato syrup, potatostarch will thicken our sauces and gravies, and potato bread will be more prominent. I’ll miss corn’s charm. The tubers don’t have seeds that pop into a delicious wholegrain snack; potatoes may have eyes, but they don’t have ears; potato chips taste funny with salsa; I can’t smoke tobacco from a potato; and there’s no substitute for corn on the cob.